Today is the final day of my first week as a stay at home wife (since I don't count weekends). I feel it has earned me the right to comment on the difference between doing work for school and doing work at home.
First, make no mistake, they are both very much work. While I might have more of an opportunity to just sit at home and read, I know that all that fun would be gone when Blake got home and saw that nothing was done, and I had to explain my actions. So instead, I have been trying to make sure that I do something significant each day. Something that I can point to, and say: I did this. In addition, I have been doing all of the little maintenance tasks that a house needs (dishes, laundry etc. ) For the last few days I have been doing this with a cold, which requires somewhat more effort, as I would be content to lay on the couch and rest.
Even with that said, I was more productive as a teacher, and I have been spending some idle time thinking about why. I think one big difference is the schedule. As a teacher, there was so much information that had to be taught on a daily basis that I didn't have much time to rest, even if I wanted to. The schedule kept cranking along, and I knew that if I didn't use my science time wisely, that science would eat into history time, which would affect spelling time, and on and on. So, for the length of the school day, I was forced to be focused and productive every moment the kids were in the room.
Even with the stuff that had to be done out of the room, I was more productive. This is because it had an end. I might not have LIKED grading 25 math tests, but when I finished grading them, I wouldn't have to grade that test again. Actually, it got me out of grading math tests until two weeks later. Lesson plans, homework, Monday letters, all of it had a definite start and end. When it was ended, I could rest, or read, or relax, knowing that my work was done.
The house is a whole different ball game. The schedule for the day is loose- I get up with Blake, have breakfast with him, then eventually eat a snack, lunch, snack, and then prep for dinner. In between I "get something done" and try to keep up with the maintenance things. The way the timing of my day falls doesn't matter as long as everything is done before he gets home. This means I can have good days, like Wednesday, where I clean the bathroom thoroughly, reorganize every drawer, all before lunch, but it also means I can have bad days, like Tuesday, when I didn't do anything until after lunch, then realized that dinner took a while and needed to be ready, and effectively did nothing but make dinner for the whole day. Total fail.
I am already trying to figure out a plan to rectify this lack of a good schedule problem, but I am not sure it is worth the time or effort, because once Grace gets home, hopefully soon, we will have a completely different schedule all around her, so this is really only a temporary problem.
The other biggest problem of a stay at home wife, so very different than many other jobs, is that it is very difficult to feel finished. For example, for now, the dish drainer is empty, and there are no dishes waiting to be put in the dishwasher. Small victory. But when I finish this post, I plan on making a snack for myself... which takes dishes... which means they will have to be done... again.
I trying to follow fly lady's instructions (look her up, it's a cool program), and one of the things she says is that any time there is a basket of laundry full, wash it, dry it, and put it away. The idea is that this way, it never becomes too great of a task. The problem is that it never feels done!
It is just a part of taking care of a home, everyone has to do these tasks, I get that. But it is hard to feel motivated when no matter how hard you worked to get laundry done or the kitchen clean, you know that in just a day or two you will have to do it all over again.... and again, ...and again, for the foreseeable future.
These are such petty concerns, I know. There are plenty of women who would love the luxury of staying at home. It is just a big adjustment for me. I want so badly to do a good job for Blake, especially until Grace is home (since I only have the house, and not a child to care for) but at the same time, it is so different than the work schedule that I had for the last 6 and a half years.
Yet, like everything in my life, I am determined, and will continue working at it, and hopefully make him proud.
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