Friday, August 14, 2015

Stream of Consciousness about the Here and Now

I neglect this blog, I know I do, and yet, it is actually quite substantially read, especially compared to anything else I write. I find that I only can find the effort to post pictures or write about big dramatic events and the day to day nuances get left in the dust.

It's sad really, that I take these days for granted, and I have thought about that a lot recently for a variety of reasons. I am living my dream, truly. If you asked me what I wanted to be in high school, one of the things I would have told you was a mom. I spent years waiting only somewhat patiently for the "right" time to try, only to discover that when the time was right, based on our understanding, that God said not yet. Then I spent years actively working towards the dream, trying to get pregnant and working through the intense process of an international adoption, only to find myself pregnant after all when I thought I had truly come to terms with not experiencing that part of life.

Now here I am, two great kids sleeping in their rooms. Two kids that light up my days, that make me laugh, that are so creative and so much fun to be around, and I don't write about it. I throw pictures up when I can or talk about the big, non-essential, not big dreams that I waited for for so long.

The best reason I can come up with is that I am happy. Truly, resonantly happy with my day to day routine. The days that I felt like I would burst if I couldn't write a long cathartic blog about how I was feeling are gone, for the most part. I have dreams, I have aspirations and goals, but they don't damper my current joy with my family.

I accomplished my marathon goal, I am working towards my writing goals, I am pursuing a more generalized goal of strength building now, and of course, my long time goal of maintaining that balance of mom and housewife and time for me that keeps everyone happy.

Grace, sweet Grace, is generally having less tantrums, but she still has intense anxiety at nap time and when people she cares about leave. We had gotten to a point where she would take naps without me, but for some reason she has recently reverted, and needs my physical touch to be able to get to sleep. She loves sculpting, and is getting pretty good at it. She can be content for a long time with just some playdough or silly putty to continually mold into different things, and will tell you all about her dolphin or mermaid or whatever else she created at the time. Without her top two sculpting materials, she can be content with molding a napkin or toilet paper (though we are trying to curb the toilet paper use and aim more for the silly putty when the need to mold hits).

She was taking dance, for a long time, but at the start of the summer started doing gymnastics and gymnastics camp, which she loves. Though if you ask her, she prefers the class over the camp. She says it is because of the art room and she doesn't like to do art (and don't even get me started on her sculpting being art... it isn't to her, and don't try to tell her otherwise), but I think it is because I leave during camp, but stay during class. This September she will be going to preschool three days a week instead of two, and at her request, is no longer doing dance, but wants to do soccer instead. So she is signed up for a soccer team, and will have practice one or two days a week and a game once a week. We shall see how that goes, but she really wanted it, and is old enough to start.

Remington is a handful at almost two, and he really wants to get his own way or he will give you "Remington face," but is generally a happy kid. He still loves sports and on a day playing at home will play hockey, soccer, baseball, and basketball, all without prompting. When he plays hockey at home, he still asks for skates from time to time, and is really improving with them. His favorite is basketball, and every time Blake calls to say he is on his way home, Remington takes the phone and asks if they can go to the basketball court. If Blake says yes, then he gives me the phone back, and goes away and plays again.

He is also in a gymnastics class and loves it. His favorite parts are jumping and hanging. He knows his coach's name, and is really happy to see her, and cries when he thinks it is a gymnastics time and it isn't. He apparently really loved our recent trip to the fair, and still, almost two weeks later, thanks God at night like this, "Thank you God, we go vroom vroom, thank you God, got the Ducky, thank you God caught the fishy." He got to go on a ride that was a pretend car, and played a look under the duck game and a catch the fish game, and apparently they left a huge impression on him!

A nightly tradition for us now is to play a couple of rounds of hide and seek with the kids before bed. They LOVE it, but are not good hiders yet, and frequently are giggling so much that you can hear them even before you see them.

Most nights, I am either working on writing something, playing a computer game with Blake or getting through the books on my Rory Gilmore reading list. Blake's passion continue to be in either video games or sports. We are all happy, and loving life as a family.