Tuesday, March 29, 2016
Holidays as a parent are a funny thing. As a kid, you just knew the excitement, you knew what to expect from each holiday, you looked forward to it, and then as you grew out of the age of having the fun, you moved into the world of "these are the fond memories I have of x holiday."
Then there was the phase of young adult without kids, where holidays were meh at best. You visited family, exchanged gifts or had brunch, whatever, you celebrate the holiday, but there is no sparkle to it.
But as a parent, you have to be the magic maker. I have so many memories of what I liked about Easter, for example, but my desire to give my kids the same fun memories isn't as easy as waving a wand and saying "Easter magic!"
For months before hand I agonized about what exactly should be in their baskets, what should be in their eggs, how I was going to also keep it God centered (trip to church, Bible verse CD, Christian tattoos, stamps and stickers), how I was going to limit the new toys coming in (one big set to share, and playdough tools and art supplies in each basket) and help other people too (the Easter Bunny brought a basket filed with stuff to donate). So much stuff.
I also wanted to make sure we did egg dying, but I am trying to limit food dye (so we did it with natural ingredients), and I wanted them to do an Easter egg hunt, because I remember how much fun I had doing Easter hunts.
The night before Easter is when the "Easter Bunny" is hard at work, filling eggs, stuffing baskets, hiding eggs, and setting up the magic.
But, sigh, expectation and reality so often don't meet. For example, we were fortunate when we went to the Easter egg hunt at a local church that we decided to go early, since there was supposed to be other fun things to do besides the egg hunt.
We took the kids to the bathroom, and then headed over to the egg hunt area, to see the fields with the eggs surrounded by kids, who for the moment were held back by the ribbon surrounding the area. We heard (20 minutes or so before start time) the announcer trying to get the crowd riled up and excited, though he was hard to hear and understand. Blake and I heard it though. He was trying to get everyone to cheer, and said something about on the count of three yell. But after the 3, 2, 1, too many kids just went, and started collecting.
This, mind you, is 15 minutes before it is supposed to start, and though they tried to get the kids back, rein them in, get them back of the way, what started as a trickle became a floodgate opening, and soon, all of the kids were in, collecting eggs.
Blake and I, hard core rule followers, hesitated because we knew they really were not supposed to be collecting yet... but it got to a point where we realized that it wasn't going to be contained, and our kids were walking away with nothing if we didn't let them go. Again, we being rule followers, our kids only got the ten eggs each they were supposed to, but we saw tons of kids with overflowing baskets, and we couldn't help but wonder about these parents.
How could they not restrain their kids when it clearly wasn't time yet? Why did they completely ignore the sign about ten eggs? What is wrong with people? I read later about a Pez sponsored hunt that went haywire too, with parents pushing kids out of the way for eggs. Really? We felt really bad for the people who arrived on time to see no eggs remaining.
The kids had fun, but it wasn't the idyllic egg hunt I pictured.
My natural egg dyes worked, but not dramatically, and honestly, the kids were really not thinking this egg dying thing is so fun. They were over it fairly fast, even if the dyes had worked better. Perhaps another year it will be more fun, but this year? Another picture in my mind damaged by the reality.
Easter morning started with a battle over the dress I wanted Grace to wear, so not how I wanted to start the holiday. She eventually gave in, partly because I told her she could pick my Easter clothes.
I got a great video of Remington saying it was so silly that the Easter bunny hid an egg in his shoe, only to have Grace talk about how her egg she found was boring. To be fair, she had fun, just not with that particular egg.
They liked what they got, and I know they will have more fun in the future with their Easter presents, but all of it really makes me think. How do you create nostalgia? Am I doing it right?
How do I ensure that my kids grow up with fond memories of special days like Easter and Christmas?
Yesterday we celebrated family day, which is what we call the day we brought Grace home from Ghana (can't believe she has been home for three years already, crazy how fast time flies). We had a fun morning at the aquarium, and a special lunch at Bubba Gumps, but I had a moment yesterday evening.
The kids were playing with Blake in the spaceship he made for them (spaceship 2.0, not the one he made Easter morning, but a new and improved one), and laughing, and talking about their space walk, and I realized that this is it. Those laughing, imaginative bonding times with us and each other, that is where it is at. It isn't the holidays.
Holidays are filled with "holiday traditions" and family gatherings, and busy hustling from here to there, so much so that they don't typically have a lot of the just play time that they love. I work so hard to make the holidays what I think they should be, based on my memories, but more important are that every day I continue to have a household environment that encourages playing together.
Sunday, March 6, 2016
I spent a lot of time this morning looking back with nostalgia at the posts that I wrote when we had the adventure to get Grace home three years ago, and then when Remington was born that year, and I love those posts. I love that I have such a real record of my emotions and what was happening at that time. This last year my blog has sadly been neglected, and as I looked back at the last few posts I have done, I tend to not focus on my kids, which I know many people want to know about. So, here is a ton of pictures (and few words) of the kids in 2016.