Monday, June 20, 2016

10 years

In the grand scheme of human existence, ten years is relatively small. Depending on how long you live, it can be a relatively small part of life too. But at age 32, ten years is almost a third of my life... and I have been married for that long.

Add in the fact that we were dating for almost four years before that, meeting at age 18, in 2002, means that we have been together for 14 years! Plus, Blake pointed out on our trip that we are only four years from being together for half of our lives, and the percentage of our life together will just grow from there.

In a world so full of divorce and short, quick relationships, I can honestly say that I am proud that we have made it to this point. To anyone looking in from the outside, let me be the first to say that our relationship isn't perfect. The last ten years have had some hard spots, especially during the time that we were trying to become parents. We have had arguments, small and large that we had to work through, together. But we weathered each storm, together.

If I have wisdom to impart, it is relatively simple, and nothing that hasn't already been said. For example, find compromises. One battle relatively early on was that Blake couldn't stand to eat dinner with a messy kitchen. I, on the other hand, wanted to eat while dinner was fresh, and deal with dishes afterwards... but if I sat down to eat, he would still clean, and I would feel guilted into doing dishes early. But we worked it out. I prefer drying to washing, he is the opposite. So, my side is now to make sure dishes are dried and put away before he gets home, and he does the washing and dish washer loading (immediately after dinner is made so he can eat). We both are happy, and both contribute. Laundry is similarly divided- he folds adult clothes, I fold kids. Point being, arguments will continue until you find a compromise that works.

Second, give each other room for personal interests. I get that Blake needs video game time, and I try to make sure he can unwind with it often. He knows I like doing my races, and he lets me sign up and run. We have done races together, and I have played video games with him, but for the most part, now, after a decade together, we no longer feel the need to do as much together. We enjoy each others' company, and do things together that we both enjoy, but also feel free to seek our own interests apart too, and our relationship is healthier for it. 

We celebrated our ten year anniversary with a second honeymoon of sorts. We drove up the coast, just like we did ten years ago.





Appetizer type lunch with a beautiful view.


Appetizer type dinner with a beautiful view.


Me on the deck. 

A bunch more from this year:

The trip was great! Our first stop was in Solvang, just like ten years ago, but instead of hanging out in town and seeing a musical, we decided to go on a bike ride to a few of the vineyards around. Even though I had originally thought we would do ten miles, we ended up only doing six miles or so, as the hills were way worse than I had expected! (I even had to walk my bike up one of them!).

We stayed at the same Bed and Breakfast that we did ten years ago, though it has a new owner now, and I think that the refurbishments made over the last decade were for the better. They had an amazing restaurant, where we really wanted every course to have more food than it did.

We drove up the coast again, like ten years ago, but instead of Ventana, we stayed at a an AirBnB water tower with an amazing view! We loved all the wildlife there, and enjoyed the peace and tranquil time together there.

While we loved everything we did, I think that the memories that will stick with me most are the conversations that we had, covering our kids, our history, our memories of previous trips, and what we hope to happen in the future (and random stuff like video games ;-) ). I am truly blessed to have a husband who I can also count my friend, and spend hours talking to contentedly. I am so thankful for our time together over the years, and am happy to say that we are as happy with each others' company as we were ten years ago.

I would also like to thank my grandma, my parents, and my in-laws for making this trip what it was. Without all of your contributions, it wouldn't have been possible with our current budget, so thank all of you for being generous, and gifting us your portion of our special trip. Also, I would like to thank my parents and my brother and sister in law for watching the kids, getting them to all their places, and keeping them entertained while we had our time together, and actually had time to finish a conversation. :-D

To Blake, I love you so much! Here's to ten (plus) more great years together!


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