Like when yesterday, I set out to write this long post about feeling like I was spinning plates, where I didn't feel like I was on top of the game in any sector, and like I was just doing what I could to get one thing caught up (spinning) only to have another area suffer. But I talked to my sweet husband about it, and his first instinct was to try to make it better. His first suggestion (just go read on the couch and relax) sounded amazing, but when you feel like there are a million things to do, sometimes relaxing isn't the best solution.
When I explained this to him, and then decided I just would start on one of my long list of things to do, he offered to do some of my stuff, so that I could feel like I was getting things done! And it worked! After an hour or two of being productive, while he did stuff that should have been my jobs, I felt less overwhelmed, because stuff was getting done. Thus my overwhelming, life is too hard kind of post got partially replaced with this upbeat, I have a great husband, post.
Life is also funny because I guess our adoption was going too smoothly lol! I read online yesterday that there is a strike going on in Ghana! It started Wednesday, and it is (from what I understand in the few articles available online) made up of all civil and local government workers in the country! Now, I don't know, and can't find out exactly who is involved in this strike, or how (or if, but it doesn't sound good) it will effect our adoption. I am hoping (and praying really hard and having every breathing person I know praying) that it ends quickly, and our documents aren't slowed down at all from this particular strike. It is interesting how positively I am taking this news overall though, which is mostly in just laughing at the absurdity of it all (and how much strikes/lockouts are affecting my fall 2012!).
See, we were warned that most people hit some kind of delay. That's why every time we talk about our after Thanksgiving trip, it is "if it doesn't get delayed." You can't see what delays are coming, but most people have one somewhere, and it wouldn't actually surprise me if this was ours. I can't wait to see our daughter, and have her home... but at the same time I really do appreciate the fact that we passed court way earlier than expected, and aren't even close to being "behind schedule" even if this strike takes a month and a half or more!
Also, my students keep me grounded. I will end the year early if we are blessed to have our daughter here before the school year ends, which I am still hopeful for, strike or no strike. But at the same time, it would be with a heavy, reluctant heart that I walk away from the twenty five students who I have become so attached to. They have gotten used to a routine and a teacher, and a way that they imagine their fourth grade year to go, and at some point, they will be trading it for a different teacher. That teacher, even if he/she tried to emulate my way of running the classroom, and used my lesson plans and did everything I asked her to do to make the transition smooth, would still not be me. Not that I am a perfect teacher by any means, but every teacher is different.
So, while I wait and hope and pray for things to go one way, I continue to do what is needed for my fourth graders, knowing that all adoption delays are benefits for them.
The number one thing about this getting me down, if I am being honest, is just the possible delay in getting to see our daughter in person. If we were millionaires, I would just say let's keep the tickets, and go see her, even with no legal, adoption related purpose other than enjoying this precious time that she is small as the adoption continues to move slowly towards a close.
The money we lose from the changing of plane tickets isn't really a big deal, and was a risk that we took buying them early, so that part of it is just eh.
Changing around when I am absent sub-wise isn't fun, but isn't a big deal either. It would mean pushing our trip back to December, but any December activities can be changed for a year, also not a big deal.
But I am SO EXCITED to see her. To hold her, play with her, take countless pictures of her, and see with my own eyes that she is healthy and happy. Hear her try to make words, help her/watch her try to stand, and maybe take her first steps. I know I can't take her home at this trip, but just to have that brief window of time and memories with her before she ages even more before we get to see her. I have been reading books about caring for babies/toddlers, and one big thing that I have gotten is how quickly they change and how each month progresses them more towards the toddler stage.
Alas, we aren't millionaires, and no matter how much my mom heart wants to be there with her, we need to be financially smart to have the money necessary to raise her, and an extra, unnecessary trip to Ghana just wouldn't be smart. So, if you are the praying type, please join us in fervently praying that 1- the strike ends soon, 2- the strike won't affect adoptions, 3- we get our paperwork in time, and 4- we get to keep our tickets and our trip and see her in person in less than a month.
Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. Philippians 4:6
I call on you, my God, for you will answer me; turn your ear to me and hear my prayer. Psalms 17:6
The effective, fervent prayer of a righteous man avails much. James 5:16b
Excerpts from Psalms 37 (my favorite psalm).
:5 Commit your way to the Lord,
Trust also in Him,
And He shall bring it to pass.
:7 Rest in the Lord, and wait patiently for Him;
:23-25 The steps of a good man are ordered by the Lord,
And He delights in his way.
Though he fall, he shall not be utterly cast down;
For the Lord upholds him with His hand.
I have been young, and now am old;
Yet I have not seen the righteous forsaken,
:37 Wait on the Lord,
And keep His way,
And He shall exalt you to inherit the land;
:39-40 But the salvation of the righteous is from the Lord;
He is their strength in the time of trouble.
And the Lord shall help them and deliver them;
He shall deliver them from the wicked,
And save them,
Because they trust in Him.
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