Special Needs Parent

Most of the time I don't feel like a special needs parent. I feel that title is reserved for those parents whose child requires special attention, help and care all the time, even into adulthood. I am thankful that there are people out there who are willing and able to be those parents. I am thankful too, that Grace, most of the time doesn't act like a special needs child.

We can go days, weeks, even sometimes months where we all allow ourselves to forget that Grace has special needs. She plays, laughs, runs, and can be really independent.

But every time she has a fever, that illusion disappears. An otherwise healthy child, with a fever, takes Tylenol, and then rests at home, until it passes. Grace doesn't get that luxury.

Every time she has a fever she has to go to the doctor, where she gets her blood drawn, gets an IV put in, and gets antibiotics. Sometimes this is in an emergency room, sometimes urgent care, and sometimes at her pediatric hematologist's office, but no matter where we go, we know it will be hours before we get to go back home.

Depending on the results of her blood test, she either stays overnight or gets to go home for the night... only to be back the next day, for more antibiotics and ANOTHER blood draw.

Sometimes that can be the end of it... but if her symptoms continue, we go back another day... for more antibiotics, and sometimes more blood drawn.

Also, our main doctor for all of this is 30 minutes away from us when there is no traffic, and there frequently is traffic coming or going from the appointment.

These days... I do feel like a special needs parent. There is nothing I wish more than to be able to rescue Grace from all of this, and allow her the privilege to just stay home, rest and get better.

But at the same time, there is never a time that I regret Blake and I choosing to adopt her, knowing that she had these health challenges. If she didn't get adopted out of that orphanage, there is a very real, scary possiblity that she would not be living at this moment.

Consider for a moment that our precious little girl weighed only 13 pounds when we brought her home at 17 months old... my not quite 3 month old boy weighs that already! In that little, tiny, undernourished body, she was battling at least 3 major health concerns that we know of, and was likely not getting any medical care for any of them.

If we weren't willing to adopt her, this sweet, precious, fun, wonderful girl, who has a huge personality when she isn't sick, might not live to the age of five.

It makes me think about all of the people who feel moved enough to adopt, which is a great thing all by itself, but are only willing to adopt healthy kids. I know there is a need for that, but there is also a huge need for the ones who aren't healthy or who will face challenges their whole life.

Every special needs parent knows that their child is worth every ounce of extra effort they require. These special souls more than compensate for their challenges with all of the good they bring to us. Also, you never doubt that you are making a difference in someone's life, that you, personally, have made someone else's life better.

People outside of the loop call her lucky for having us, but anyone who has adopted a child know that it is the opposite, we are lucky... no BLESSED... to have her!

I love seeing her smile, her laugh, her raised eyebrows. It brings me so much joy to see her grow and progress, going from not being able to stand by herself to running!

I don't like the days that she is sick, or the drives to the doctors, or canceling plans with friends, but I never think that my life would be better without all of that.

If you got this far, I am going to get on my soapbox. Consider making room in your home for one more, because for every child that is adopted, both domestically and abroad, there are hundreds, if not thousands, waiting for home. Sweet kids that desperately wish to have someone to love them.

And if you are open to adoption... consider being open to a special needs child. I won't guarantee it will be easy... actually I am willing to say that it won't... but it will be worth it.