I promise the next post will be full of pictures... because this one doesn't have any. I have a rare opportunity to be on the computer, and not on my phone, and while this is great for typing reasons, it is less helpful as far as pictures (which are all on my phone). C'est la vie.
I have this rare moment because my two beautiful children are both asleep for naptime, both in their beds. I almost never have a moment when I am not attached to one of the two of them.
As I walked away from their rooms, I was struck by how wonderfully, crazily different this year is from last year. I even spent some time reading my blogs from this time last year. You know, when I had no kids? When I was HOPING for one child?
Yet, here I am, just one short year later, putting two precious little ones down for their nap.
It isn't always easy. At 11:30 today, I was in quite the bad mood because Grace had been having a screaming tantrum since 11, which meant that she also had an accident even though she had gone multiple days since her last one. Her tantrum was just because she wanted socks on... but wasn't going to get them herself. (I was nursing Remington, and besides she could easily get those socks off the ground where she had taken them off earlier against my specific instructions not to.) To make matters worse, as I dealt with Grace's accident, Remington started to cry.
But at the end of the day (when they are asleep again) I know I am blessed. I love seeing Grace laugh, run, and talk, and I marvel at how far she has come from when we first met her. I love seeing Remington's sweet smile, and his efforts to roll over (he is sooo close!) and hearing his baby babble. I love seeing Grace as a sister, Blake as a dad, my parents as grandparents. I love so much about being a mom, and most of it I can't even put into words. Something that is the very essence of being a parent, and is wrapped up in the love that you have for them that has nothing to do with their actions. Something that is what makes you know, without a doubt, that you would do anything for your kids, take any pain to keep them from pain, and you wish so much for their happiness that your own happiness doesn't seem quite as important.
After so many years of waiting to be a mom, it is surreal that that time is here, and in the first year of being a mom I have two kids, and one is a toddler!
In a very short time, just a few weeks from now, I will have not taught for a year, and that is so strange to me too. Parenting is so different than teaching. A good friend and previous coworker once told me that being a parent makes you a better teacher, and being a teacher makes you a better parent.
My ratio is way better as a parent...but my kids need me so much more that I don't feel like it is better. My days lack the structure they used to, and I kind of miss that. In theory, that is up to me to change...but at least at this point, I don't think I could add the structure. Plans change due to dr. appointments, sicknesses that come up, and the various errands that arise. Days totally at home do have some structure...but not much.
Blake still has scars from last year's explosion, but otherwise, as far as Blake goes, life is back to normal.
I know that in some ways you can always be surprised by the difference a year makes, but I have a feeling that the end of 2012 to 2013 will be one of the biggest in my life.
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