Even as you get older, I feel that you remember your "firsts" as the important moments, and then the future events as less meaningful.
With Grace, we missed many of the typical firsts that a parent experiences. I don't have a first time for feeling her kick inside me, we didn't see the first time she held her head up, or rolled over, or sat up. But as the time goes with her, we are experiencing firsts with her, and they are so precious.
Last Saturday, Grace went to her first birthday party (for a former co-worker's daughter).
She got to do a fishing game...
and played in the sand with her beach toys she got while "fishing."
On Sunday, she had her first trip to the zoo:
She seemed to really enjoy her trip to the zoo. Grace points at things often (half the time we have no idea what she is trying to get us to see), and at the zoo, there were plenty of monkeys and animals to point out to us. One of the words she is pretty consistently saying these days is "daw" when referring to our dogs. However, she has now generalized this to all four legged furry animals. At the zoo, llamas were dogs, capybaras were dogs, warthogs were dogs etc. We have taught her now to say, "tat" for our cats, but she isn't consistent on distinguishing them quite yet at home.
The elephants were astonishing to her, as she just kept looking. Not really talking, not saying much, just being apparently amazed at just how big these animals are.
More than just her first trip, which is meaningful all by itself, it was also special that we finally were at the zoo with our child. We have been zoo members for a long time, and always saw the many children visiting the zoo. For years now, while I loved seeing the cute kids and their reactions to animals, I also felt disappointment in our not having a child to share our trip with us. It was a big thing that I was looking forward to. It was a great feeling seeing her reactions and just being able to share this special place with her as we had dreamed about doing for so long.
She also had her first time playing with Uncle Graeme:
They are playing a game of peek-a-boo with the tissue paper from one of the gifts that Blake got last Sunday.
Thursday brought another two firsts as I saw Grace color for the first time with crayons (more than the forced attempts in restaurants).
I also took Grace to visit North lake (a lake near us) for the first time that day.
I truly look forward to the many more firsts that we will experience with her, including some that we thought we would be missing because of her being adopted at somewhat less than newborn age, such as seeing her stand independently and walk on her own.
But we also have the firsts that every parent can look forward to: first day of school, first bike, first sleep over, etc.
It is funny how excitement builds in this house, where she does something new, and we get excited, and she sees that we are excited, and she gets excited, and then we love seeing her so excited, so we get more excited, it just goes on in a loop of laughter and smiles that is so sweet and precious! It also means that each first is a chance for us to connect and join together as a family, which is what I really was waiting for all those years.
I have a first tomorrow too- my first mother's day as a mother. Last year, around this time, we were still waiting for a call. We had no idea if it was going to be a boy or girl, name, age or anything. This year, she is home, and I am her mother in every sense of the word. One of my students asked (back before I became a stay at home mom) about Grace's "real" mom, and I set him straight very quickly that I was her real mom.
Legally, I am her mom, all the paperwork we have done, and possess confirms it. But I also confirm that I am her mom when I have to hold her while she gets her blood taken, I am the one who watches her and changes her diapers during the day. I am the one who holds her hands while she walks, and calms her down when she is upset. (Credit where credit is due- Blake does this stuff too).
The woman in Ghana who gave birth to her gets credit for her beautiful eyes, stunning eyelashes, and cuteness that makes even strangers comment. She gets credit for not leaving Grace on the side of the street, but making sure that she was left in good hands. But she is not her mom. Because of Grace's particular circumstances, we will likely never know any more than we currently do about this woman who gave life to my sweet daughter.
Some day, when Grace is older, she might say to me in anger, "You are not my real mom." But she would be wrong. Parenthood is not determined by blood alone, but also by being the one who is there for your child, good and bad, happy and sad.
So tomorrow I will celebrate Mother's Day not just by honoring my mom, and Blake's mom, but also getting honored, as I got to join this elite group of women who were and are there for their children.
In a surprise twist of fate, as opposed to last year, I also am celebrating being a mother to my son, who we will get to meet in September. I would have never guessed that my first Mother's Day would find me as a mother to two different children, and not twins!
Notes on this very strange video- it is of my stomach, where I caught on camera two times he moved. The first is around 31 seconds in and the second around 1:30. The rest is boring (but I can't predict his movements...) You should be looking more on the right hand side. I would recommend dragging to spot :28 and 1:28 or so, and then look for it. :-D
Anyways, cheers to moms and to watching your children's firsts!
The joy in motherhood comes in moments. There will be hard times and frustrating times. But amid the challenges, there are shining moments of joy and satisfaction.
-Elder M. Russel Ballard
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