Monday, April 8, 2013

Growing Up

On paper, I am very much an adult.

Twenty nine, married for almost 7 years, living in a house, with a daughter, and another child on the way. If I read that description of anyone, I would say that they are an adult.

I guess I feel like an adult...I definitely don't feel like a child or a teenager or even the young college kids I see by UCI. But I don't know when it happened. It is kind of surreal to me. I look at myself in the mirror with Grace, and it is crazy that I made it to parenthood. I almost don't believe the reflection.

One of the more interesting reflections that I have made today is about having a child here with me on my birthday.

In 2009, I turned 25, and I remember thinking then (as it was right about when we were starting to try to have kids) I wondered if it would be my last birthday without kids. For each year after that- 26, 27, 28, I wondered if THIS would be my last kid free birthday.

Apparently the thought I had last year was finally the correct one. I also remember talking with my friend back in January, when the passport was getting delayed, and we weren't sure again when Grace would be home, and she asked when I thought Grace would be home. I said I didn't know, but I hoped it would be by my birthday. This birthday. Today.

It is amazing to me that I am writing this while watching MY daughter on the monitor as she sleeps! She is there, in just the other room. I get to hold her, and play with her, and make her laugh. I have to calm her down when she is upset, and change her diapers (when Blake's not home ;-) because I have the day shift, he changes any diapers when he is home, it's awesome). I have it all because I am her mom. Not a babysitter, not a friend, she is mine, and that means I have to take the good with the bad, and I am happy to- because I am her mom. 

Twenty nine is quite the amazing birthday. Not because of any special party or dinner (though I get one of those later) but because I got the present that I have wanted for the last four years- I am a mom.

Another amazing thought is that 25 year old Lisa wanted to have two kids before she turned 30. Between the infertility and the long adoption process, I had let that dream go, and decided it wasn't a big deal, and plenty of people have kids after 30. But thanks to the baby growing inside me, that wish is going to be a reality after all. By next year, when I turn 30 (quite the adult age) I will have not one, but two kids.

So cheers to year 29, and to the few precious months of being a parent to one.

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Here's a picture of my ever growing belly to mark my 29th birthday.

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