As the ticker at the top shows, we have currently been somewhere in the process of adoption for 1 year, 7 months, 2 weeks and 1 day. We have been waiting for a referral for 1 year, 2 months, 2 weeks and 2 days. I've read that the average length that international adoptions take from start to finish is between 1 to 2 years. We are officially slower than average.
Even if we get a referral tomorrow, we are not likely to make the 2 year cut off. The most recent estimate from my coordinator is that from referral it is taking 6-12 months to get the child home, with most being around 8-10 months. For those of you keeping track, even if we get that referral next week, add six months to that, and that would put us in February, more than two years from when we started.
As part of our "celebration" of officially taking a long time, we get the "prize" of getting to redo paperwork that we have already done. One of our forms expires in January, and like I mentioned above, the bare minimum from referral to homecoming is past January, so we have to get an extension... which means we have to redo fingerprints... and our home study. I am not sure what updating our home study is going to include, but at minimum it means that we have to have the interviews again, and have to pay more.
Most days, the time it has taken doesn't bother me. The fact is that everyone I know who has ever had kids says that life changes when they come, and that we will miss the time with just us, and I know I do appreciate this time with my husband. Also, it has given me more time to work, which means more money saved, and a bigger cushion for the adoption. I have a lot of freedom on a day to day basis, and I like that too.
But something about having to start the process of redoing all this stuff really brings me down. I can't really explain it, but just waiting is one thing, and having to do extra things BECAUSE it is taking so long is another. Imagine you are in line at Disneyland, you expected it to be a long line because of the estimated wait time, but now it is taking longer than expected, and as if that isn't enough, now they say you have to climb an extra 3 flights of stairs because the line is longer, which you wouldn't have had to do if the line was shorter. You would be understandably frustrated!
I hope and pray that our referral comes soon, because I don't want to be the kind of person that dwells on the negative, and it would be a lot easier for me if I had a referral to hold on to like an anchor as I deal with the "joys" of getting to do this paperwork again. I hope our referral comes soon so that I can finally have some real news for family members and friends, many of whom have given up asking because they don't want to hurt me by asking when I yet again have no new news. I hope that our referral comes soon so that I can give my employers any kind of general timeline for when I will be taking a break for our child.
But the biggest reason that I hope for my referral to come soon is that I want that 6-12 month timer to start ticking down. It is hard enough knowing that even once we get the call it could take another year after that without being very aware that any additional time from now to referral is just added to that wait.
Deep sigh.
"My thoughts are nothing like your thoughts," says the LORD. "And my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine." Isaiah 55:8
"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11
“Look at the nations and watch—
and be utterly amazed.
For I am going to do something in your days
that you would not believe,
even if you were told. " Habakkuk 1:5
"Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us, to Him be glory in the church by Christ Jesus to all generations, forever and ever. Amen. " Ephesians 3:20-21
Deep breath. God has a plan. I believe it is a good plan. I just have to wait and see what He has in store for us.
Hey Lisa! Hang in there.. We are currently waiting a domestic infant interracial placement, originally quoted 9-12 months and we just completed our second homestudy renewal - yes, our third livescan fingerprinting. So we are now in our 24th month of active waiting. I know it's hard but it will happen, hopefully soon. Try to enjoy getting everything ready.
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