2018 Recap

I started this blog in 2009, as long ago as it seems, and I started my tradition of looking back on December 31st in 2010. The amount of posts per year has varied all the way from my record of 82 in my exciting last year before the kids came, all the way down to my new low of 3 (including this one) this year. But I am consistent in this as my personal New Year's Eve activity.

Looking at my items from the jar, I am reminded first of the couple of trips that we went on. First, in February, Blake and I had a nice little getaway to Cambria, arranged by my mother in law (including taking care of the kids for us). We did some wine tasting, some hiking, and generally enjoyed a beautiful place and relaxed.

This summer, my parents took us to Lake Arrowhead, and the kids and I had a great time at Santa's Village /Skypark. Note that I said that the kids and I had a great time.... Blake not so much. Unpublished on this blog is the fact that Blake broke his leg this summer. He had decided to play some rec hockey after watching how much fun Remington was having, but he turned too quick on his skate, and his leg really hurt, to the point that he couldn't put pressure on it. He refused to go to the doctor until we were up in Lake Arrowhead, because he didn't want to ruin the trip. I forced him to go once we were up there, and sure enough... he had a broken fibula. That put a damper on the trip... and the summer. (It is all healed up now thankfully).

There was a third trip taken this year, but thanks to digital tickets, we don't have any cute souvenirs from it- Blake and I took a one night away trip to Vegas. Though, if I am being honest, it wasn't the best trip. I was feeling strangely tired that night, and had to force myself to stay awake. We went to see a Ducks vs Golden Knights game, which the Ducks lost in a major way. We didn't stay on the strip so we had to walk quite a ways to get to all of our places, and even the buffet, which was tasty, was overpriced for what we could eat, and we decided that next time we would rather just eat at a nice restaurant, instead of a buffet. Basically, for the majority of the trip, we were planning what we would do differently next time. However, the morning of the day we were flying back, we had a great time, being very unconventional, and playing archery tag and doing an escape room together, which totally redeemed the trip.

There are three different sets of season passes there, that I feel deserve a moment on the blog. Summer of 2017 the family trip was to San Diego, and as a part of that my parents were kind enough to get us passes to Legoland. We decided to also get passes to all of the museums in San Diego at the same approximate time. Those both expired summer of 2018, which is why they made it in this jar. But that left a gap, as we had really been enjoying having a place to go as a family to go have fun for the day out of the house at minimal daily cost, so we decided around May to get our family Knott's passes. The sad thing is that Knott's goes until the end of the calendar year, so we didn't have them for a whole year, but we did go enough times that I still feel like we got a good value out of them.

There were a few Ducks games, a few movies and one lonely race bib- though I do feel really good about my Spartan. I trained hard for it, and in the end, only was unable to complete three of the obstacles (earning myself 90 burpees). If you are curious- I couldn't climb the rop, I couldn't figure out the sideways rock climbing kind of thing, and I couldn't get my spear to stick in the hay. But I did successfully cross the monkey rings, and I did get myself up and over the wood walls, even though they were covered with mud from the previous muddy people.

My Grandmother celebrated her 90th birthday this year, and had a nice dinner with our large extended family, and that was nice to be a part of. I also had two really nice dates with my daughter this year- one in the summer where we did nails and then went to the Sawdust art festival, and another where I took her to a mother daughter shopping spree and then we went to a concert together. I look forward to planning more bonding days in the future for the two of us, especially since I felt like Remington got a lot of those when she started school before he did.

But the biggest things this year were not in this jar.

First, I said at the end of my blog last year that I hoped Remington would start playing hockey, since he had been taking lessons for so long. Well... be careful what you wish for. Remington did indeed start hockey at the start of 2018.

His first two seasons started slow, as he was just getting comfortable playing with the other kids, all much bigger than this little 4 year old (you have to be 4 to join the league). He didn't score any goals his first two seasons. But then, summer season, all of his previous training took effect, and he was the second highest goal scorer for the team that season! He scored 9 goals in the summer season.

Apparently this improved playing didn't go unnoticed. After his summer season ended we were approached by the coach of the club team at our rink, and he expressed interest in Remington joining the club team, for their 6 and under team. We hesitated, but decided to go for it, as even though we aren't totally versed in the world of club vs rec sports, we knew that him being asked to join the club team is a big deal. Basically the coach sees a lot of potential in him, and felt that if Remington was part of the team this year, it would make him that much better for next year's club team when he was 6.

Trouble was, he was already committed to baseball... and the rec team... So entered the busiest few months of the year for our family. Remington was juggling three teams, with practices and games for each, sometimes even on the same night (we would have baseball practice, leave from there, and get to hockey practice a little late).

By the end of the fall season, in the 12 games that Remington played (in rec) he had scored 17 goals and 3 assists. He has also scored twice in the club tournaments, against the arguably more difficult teams.

Going into the new year, we will continue to juggle two hockey teams, as his club coach strongly feels that it benefits these young players to play in both. Plus, as noted above, Remington can score in the rec league fairly consistently now... but still has to work hard to get goals in the club games, so it is good for him to have both.

Meanwhile, Grace has completely departed from traditional gymnastics, after it being her life for so long, but she loves her new interests. She is currently in three classes, all not competitive and all focused on growth and learning the skills.

One of her three classes is trampoline (which is still very similar to gymnastics, and that is helping her work towards doing an unassisted flip among other skills), which is the only class taking place at a traditional gymnastics gym.

Her other two classes, while much more off the beaten path, fit her so well, I am extremely happy she has found them. They are aerial silks and parkour. For silks class, it is basically learning how to do the different things on the silk that you see the Cirque du Soleil performers doing. But Grace loves how the silks feel, she is able to use her grip strength and upper body strength to climb the silk, and hang upside down from it, and she is excited to learn new skills on it as she progresses. In parkour, she is learning precision jumps, and vaulting over obstacles, running up walls, hanging from bars, etc. Lots of controlled risky activities, and she just loves it. It combines a lot of what she liked from gymnastics and rock climbing, and put it into one class that she can take to improve. But she also loves the open gym, where she gets to climb bars, do flips into the pit blocks, and basically have a safe(ish) place to try out all the risky stuff she wants to try at every playground.

For those of you keeping track- yes, that does mean that I have to get Remington to three practices a week plus games, plus tournaments and Grace to three classes a week, plus Grace has a cooking class (for now).

AND.... I am currently working three jobs. I still teach Music and Movement at the preschool three mornings a week, but I also have a job as a preschool teacher on Wednesdays, and on Fridays I sub in the Irvine school district.

AND... I have been really consistent with my workouts since last February, typically getting up at 5am so that I can go, work out for 50 minutes, get home, get ready, and go to work for the day.

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For the kids, in 2019, I don't expect a lot to change. More hockey, more parkour, aerial silks and trampoline. Even if she decides to shift what classes she is taking, we have committed to two years at the parkour gym (cheaper price, and lots of class variety if she gets bored), so we will be finding something fun for her to do there. Remington has committed to the club team through the next season, since that was the primary reason he was approached for this one. Since the coach likes rec hockey for these kids, that also commits him to more seasons of rec. We shall see about baseball or other sports, but hockey is his consistent passion- playing with hockey figurines or playing a hockey video game when not playing hockey himself.

For me... I am taking a big leap. I don't plan on teaching at the preschool again next year. It is far from my kids, and I want to be working in the city where they are. I would love a full time job next year, but I need to clear my schedule so I can be available for any local school opportunity that comes my way. But as much as I feel good that this is what I should do... it is a scary step to take, stepping away from a job in hopes of getting another (but the commitment to leave has to come months before I can even interview). The crazy thing is, that even if I get what I want- a full time job teaching in the school district where I live, I am worried about how hard it will be to handle the job and all of the kid stuff. But for now, I am taking it one step at a time.

My wishes for 2019 are simple. I wish for myself, my family and my friends to have a happy, healthy, minimal stress year. Unrealistic? Probably, but I can hope.

A Season of Change

Spring is always a season of change, with the weather gradually warming up, the plants growing and coming away from the cold winter (at least in places where there is cold weather, unlike Southern California). This spring has been more of a season of change than most around here.

The biggest change in our house is our departure from the competitive gymnastics road that we have been on with Grace for over a year now. All of 2017 she was in a program that simplified gymnastics to a few key skills, and then practiced them intensely, focusing on form and in precision in those skills. She was enthusiastic to be on a team, and we wanted to support that goal, and felt this was the way to do it.

Evaluations were stressful for her each month, but we were encouraging, even when she didn't get the evaluation she hoped for, and wasn't moved up early (which we didn't expect anyways). Things went further south when after a year in this program, she still didn't get to move up. She was crushed, and her enthusiasm was done. Now she was with kids just starting this level, and was still doing review, and not learning new skills.

She started to express the desire to be done, and for a while, we encouraged her to stick with it, but as we talked, and as we watched her, we realized that she didn't want to be evaluated... which is what competitions would be. The stress of the evaluations, the stress of the fine points of the sport, it all was working together to make her not look forward to class.

This month we made the decision as a family that this competitive track wasn't for her. Now, to be clear, she was adamant that she still liked gymnastics, and we tried out a recreational (non-competitive) class for her, and she LOVED it. She was lit up inside afterwards, and was in a really good mood after having a class where she got to do her handstands and bar, etc., but didn't have the strictness or the stress of her old class.

At the same time, she did a Learn to Play Hockey program, and loved it. So she is all set and ready to try being on a hockey team like her brother this summer.

This season of change has Remington ending preschool, and Grace going from Kindergarten to 1st grade. We are excited that she will be entering the public Montessori program at our local school, which allows us to have a lot of the benefits of Montessori, without the steep price tag.

Remington will be going to this school as well, and as the sibling of someone in the Montessori program, he will be able to enter it at 1st grade as well.

So, to summarize, after a whirlwind summer of activities for our daughter (who wants to do art AND cooking AND climbing etc.) and a summer that I work and Remington gets one more season at his familiar preschool for the summer, here are the differences in the fall.

Grace and Remington will both be in hockey. They will both be at the local public school, while I continue to work at the private preschool (without any kids there... sad). She will be in a new Montessori program, which fits her active personality better and he will be a bit more academically challenged than before in his new class. She will continue to take one, shorter gymnastics class for fun, and hopefully an art class as well.

Change is a part of life, as it is a part of the year, and I am excited about these new changes in our family's life going forward too.

In another life

I've been fascinated with the idea of multiple universes for a long time. The idea that small choices can make significant impact on the future of your life makes for a great storyline, and many shows, movies and books play with this concept.

For what we can see though, we only have our one life to live, there are no time machines, and unless someone is hiding some big stuff, there is no way to travel to a parallel dimension.

Honestly, at this point in my life, I don't spend time wishing for a different life.

But recently there have been things that I ponder, then decide that they aren't the right fit for this life, at least for now.

The biggest one is the thought of training to be a doula, and then going out and actually trying to be hired as a doula. There is a lot that draws me to this idea as a way to help people, especially in an area that I am passionate about. I loved my doula, and I truly believe that having a doula with you in childbirth is a way to make your birth experience exponentially better.

This was no idle pondering either. I had a class I was looking at, I had talked to friends about it, had some people interested in my helping them in this way, and I was ready to take a step in this direction.

But...

then I realized it doesn't fit my current life. Not really. Not when I am thinking clearly. I have two kids, both in a lot of activities. Someone has to get them to these activities. Blake has a full time job, and it isn't easy for him to leave a moment's notice. Guess what happens at a moment's notice? Babies.

For every person that I help, my family's life is potentially disrupted at any given moment for a big spread of time. Then someone has to get to Remington's hockey, or Grace's gymnastics or art, etc. Widening the circle, and getting help, like I know doulas do, means that I have to have family members also ready to drop everything at a moment's notice to help, and though I have great parents and in-laws, their schedules don't really allow for this kind of spontaneous babysitting, especially as a regular thing.

In another life, if we didn't have kids, I could probably make this work, and I think I would really enjoy helping people in this way. But that isn't my life. Maybe when they are grown up and driving themselves, I can revisit this thought. I appreciate everyone ready to help me become a doula, and the encouragement was great, and I really was thinking about going this way, before placing this idea in context.

It isn't the first time I have had to put thoughts on the shelf of, "In another life."

If you are curious...in another life, if I had never met anyone to marry, I could have been happy as a traveling teacher. I once saw this job listing for a dream job of teaching this couple's few kids while they went on a world traveling trip. They said they would pay the teacher, as well as provide for her lodging, food and travel, just so they could have their kids privately tutored in several different countries throughout their year of travel. Wow. Just wow. In this line, I also was tempted, before realizing it didn't work with a husband, to travel to different countries, live with native families, and teach children English.

If I didn't have a family, I could see myself auditioning for little theaters. I miss high school drama, costumes, singing and everything that comes with the months of rehearsing, and opening nights. I have looked into theaters in the area... but then realize I can't be gone every night. It isn't fair to them.

I love my husband, and I love my kids. My high school self dreamed of this life- husband and kids-and some days it is surreal to be here. I am thankful for my kids especially because of the years I wanted kids and had to wait for God's timing.

It is like window shopping, and seeing something in a store that you love... but realize that it doesn't go in your house. I could be a doula... and would probably be happy in it... but I am also happy teaching, and giving my family the gift of less stress and stability (Grace especially needs that).

I am still happy to be a companion for people I know, who feel that my presence and self taught birth knowledge could be helpful for their birth experience. I just have realized that it doesn't make sense at this point to pursue it as a side job, summer job, or anything paid (or investing in the class), because of the big effect it would have on my family.