Living Life versus Recording Life

I think it is a modern day problem of having to actively choose to live life versus recording life.

When I was growing up, there were of course the video camera and the cameras with film that needed to be developed, but they were both limited. You could record a video, but if you recorded too much "fluff" you might not have space for the big moments. I remember being very aware of just how many pictures were on my disposable camera on field trips or family trips, and wanting to save them for the "best" moments, and the rest of the day I just enjoyed my trip.

But now, my phone is my camera, both video and still pictures, and is always with me. I happen to think (as hopefully all parents do at times) that my kids are adorable, and there are times that I feel like I could be constantly documenting all of the cute things they say and do, and sharing all of their moments on a blog or facebook or instagram or one of the other many social media outlets.

However, it comes at a cost. For one thing, even though both kids are still so young, they are very aware of when I am using my phone, and really want to see what I am doing, or see the pictures after I take them, or watch the video if I recorded one. In practice, this means that if my kids are both doing a great job playing with each other and I go to take a picture of them, suddenly, they aren't playing together any more, but are looking at my phone, wanting to see what I am doing. I lose the precious moment by documenting it.

Part of it too, is simply logistics. Grace's birthday party went great, and I think it was a success... but I didn't take a single picture the whole time. I think some other people got pictures... but not me. I was too busy running it! I was organizing the games, making sure the food was out, helping her open presents, and being a completely, involved, hands-on mama, which meant that I didn't even have a moment to think about my camera until the event was over and everyone was leaving. Oh well. It wasn't an active choice, but I probably would have done the same if it was. Same with her first Thanksgiving party at school. I was there, I was making sure she got food, making sure Remington didn't get into trouble... and not taking pictures.

As far as this blog goes, back before kids, there was a lot of time available where I could spend time with Blake, watching TV together or playing a computer game together etc. and still have time left over to do computer stuff or read. But now, each blog comes at a cost as well.

Blake and my time together without kids is limited to the few hours between their bedtime and my bedtime. I generally don't want to take much, if any of that precious time, doing something as solo as a blog post. So the other option is doing it while the kids are around. They tend to get into trouble if I do much on the computer while they play nearby if there isn't someone watching them. So blogs are now a very conscious choice made on a weekend afternoon, when Blake can watch the kids ( like now).

Most of the time, again, I have been choosing to live life with the kids instead of spending even part of it behind the computer, but at the same time, as I have said before, I like this blog as a record, and I know of people who only really get to follow my kids growing up on my blog (as they aren't on facebook and don't see them in real life often).  So, today, I am carving out that time.

(This blog turned into more of a commentary on life and documenting life, so I am actually going to do the Grace birthday post on a separate post. )

 I do think that in general, we, this generation of moms, need to be more willing to put down the phones, and live life with our kids without the need to document every cute thing they do. I even remember learning about a study where you remember things less well that you take pictures of, because you at least subconsciously trust the picture to help you remember it, so you don't actually remember those moments as much.

It makes me sad how often I see (and I am guilty of this as well) parents focused on their phones instead of their kids. I recognize that there are times we need to do something on them, or even relax with facebook, but we also are sending a message that the kids are less important than our phones at that moment. I am trying to more actively limit my phone time around the kids, and I hope I can encourage others to do the same as well.