Life is Precious

Almost a month has gone by since my last post, and a big part of that is that my moments kids free are so precious and so few that I have to discipline myself to use them to write a blog.

Part of me was wondering why I even take the time to update this blog at all, but I did come up with a few reasons, enough to try to dedicate at least a little of my spare time each month to keeping it somewhat up to date. Part of its purpose is for the family and friends who don't get to see us often, but also don't do facebook and so are deprived of updates on our lives unless I remember to share on here. It also is a great tool to preserve family memories to look back on someday with pride (and I have ambitions to one day pay to have this blog basically printed out into a book so that it can sit somewhere in our house in the very unlikely case that somehow the site/internet no longer can be accessed). I used it often in the past as a cathartic release of my thoughts and emotions, but I thankfully haven't needed it for that reason much lately.

In any case, I did decide that I owed it to my few faithful readers and to myself to ideally have at least one post a month.

I have been thinking a lot lately about how life is precious. There have been a variety of stories, both people I know personally, blogs I follow, even fictional TV shows I watch, that have involved death or dire medical needs. I won't lie, and say that it doesn't bring me down to think about it, but I always come back to a place of thankfulness.

My heart goes out to people who are having to mourn loved ones or watch loved ones battle cancer, or see their babies in NICU etc., and all those situations are frequently in my prayers.

But sitting around and being sad for them doesn't help them, and it doesn't help me, but taking their sorrow as a lesson does. Life is precious. My two little ones are precious, my husband, my parents, and all of my family is precious to me.  I have many friends who are precious to me too.

I would love to keep each and every one I know and love living forever, so I would never have to go through the sorrow of living without them. But people don't live forever, and we never know how much time we have with them. So I want to try to make every moment with those I love a good moment, because I don't know if I will get another one.

My two little ones are not always easy... we have our tantrums and our late night wake ups. Just today, I was frustrated with Grace as I had to hold her still to take out her latest style as she screamed like I was torturing her. I haven't been able to use the bathroom in peace while both kids are awake and in my care because Remington has decided that it is the best thing ever to take the cap off the part of the toilet that covers the screw... and I don't want him playing with either the cap or the screw, so I get to play the keep away game while I am in there, and he gets more and more frustrated with me as I deprive him of this thing which he apparently very much needs.

Remington loves to explore, especially Grace's toys, especially when she is using them, so I constantly have to keep her from resorting to violence against him and attempt to move him away from her current interest (usually with limited success).

There are definitely many times when I feel my frustration level rising with these two, and I look forward to my runs when I get to escape from the stress of the house and just get some exercise.

But I know that even if my kids live long happy lives, their time of being 9 months and 2 and a half is so short. So for all of my hair pulling incidents, I also get the joy of seeing Grace say "Happy birthday" to pretty much everything these days- happy birthday socks, happy birthday underwear, happy birthday dog poop (no joke), etc. I get to watch Remington laugh over games and activities that only a baby could stay occupied with as long as he does- rolling a ball (or throwing a ball, both are good), and patting the table or a chair.

I get to hear about my daughter's sweet heart as she gave up a toy she was playing with to Remington one day when he was crying (I was running, Blake told me the story). I get to see my son's sweet attachment to his sister, as he constantly follows her around (to her distress, but still).

I love seeing Grace make more sentences, and tell me about her drawings and her stories about her dolls. I love seeing Remington get closer to his first steps, get better at clapping and waving and tell us lots in a baby language that only he understands.

For all the challenging parts of motherhood, I am thankful to be at this place in my life, and will continue to do my best to focus on the good, because life is precious.

p.s. I'll do a pictures post too, but Remington just woke up, so typing and blog time is up for now.