Hope

I want to be the kind of person that always has hope, and that hope is a positive thing ... but lately I have been frustrated with hope.

Our call could be any day now, as I have mentioned before. It was relatively easy getting through the first six months of the wait after being warned by our coordinator that it would be at least 6 months before we could realistically expect a call. But now, it has been enough time, and we seem to be toward the top of the list. So with all that, we really have sane reasons to believe that one of these days, we come home, and there may be a special message for us.

Most days, I think about it once or twice during the day, "today we could have that message," and then get home, see no message, and move on with life.

A couple of weeks ago, I saw a message, but checked the missed calls first and saw it was terminex, so didn't worry about it. Today, I came home, saw a message, and saw a missed call from an unknown number... and allowed myself to hope. It turned out to be just a dumb real estate thing. So part of me is frustrated by hope, because it seems like it would be easier to go back to when I didn't think it could happen.

At the same time... even if we are on the slow end of the average length... it is more likely than not to happen this year. Which means that at some point... we will get that phone call... which means I will keep getting my hopes up about messages.

p.s. if you want to call me... don't leave a message! :-D Shoot me an e-mail instead and keep me from getting my hopes up without a good reason.